Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Recently, I got hit with a huge reality check, the kind that makes you stop in your tracks and think, "What the HELL am I doing?" You see, I started off in this virtual arena making sure for the past year and a half that I kept my SL and RL very separate. At the beginning, I would easily tell people that it was none of their business and move on, I simply didn't mix the two. Easy, right? Sure, it is, if you live under a rock and don't form any sort of friendships.
I've noticed that my guard has gone down considerably over that last few months and I'm not sure what I can attribute this to. Maybe it's just the overall feeling of comfort that I get when I'm with my friends and we are joking around and once in a while things about RL start to slip out. These are by no means earth shattering revelations, but, little things that, in the past, I would never share.
Plurk...then there's this thing called Plurk...for those of you who don't have a clue as to what I am referring to...look it up. Go through my site, and you will be plurkville, it's a way to stay connected at all times. The pitfall for me, is that if I'm having any sort of emotional rumbling, I just jot it down on plurk, send it out into virual space, and feel better, don't think about it anymore and so be it. The problem? People are paying attention. I've now set my account to private, which means that I control who sees my plurks, but with 330+ "friends" who I have on my account...well, here's my point:
Do you ever sit back and really think about "who" you are sharing information with? Do it, just for a second think about this in a realistic way...who is that other person sitting across from their screen. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Yes, we can share and share, but the bottom line is YOU really don't know. Sometimes we hardly know the person we are living with, why are we so trusting of those in our virtual lives?
I've realized that I've been naive about so many things. And, don't get me wrong, I do love my friends and I truly mean that. We laugh, we joke, we don't take things too seriously (unless we are ragging, then watch out and let us be all emo,)...but we enjoy each other's company.
Just be warned, you never know who is watching, you never know who is paying attention, and even sharing the LITTLEST piece of you could open you up to sharing more than you wanted.
Skin - New release from [42] - Galaxies [Aquarius]
Hair - *TSM* Double duster - Black/Violetta Glow


X said...

It's an interesting to conundrum.

I too keep my RL and SL mostly separate. My only rule is no names, though, so I do talk about stuff in rl with people I'm friendly with.

It's true, you can't really know anyone, even the person you live with. Especially if you operate in many of the ways society tells you to operate ... which is all pretty superficial. I feel lucky that I was raised in a weird family with weird ideals, and there is a lot of the social crap of the masses that I've managed to avoid. It makes knowing people more interesting ;)

But I digress. I know there are a lot of people that fear being known about, that are paranoid about it. I think I understand it ... but at the same time, if I really think about, I wonder what there is to be scared about? I'm not doing anything illegal, my intuition is very good (and tells me when to NOT talk to people because they are sketchy), there are people and legal measures I can use if I feel even remotely threatened ... I dunno. The stress and energy of paranoia just doesn't seem worth it.

So after we all think about how we're talking to strangers ... tell me, why does it matter?

(please understand, it's an earnest question, I'm not being snide or pissy, I promise!)

Lizzie Lexington said...

I have been just the opposite, very open about who i am in RL etc and I have yet to have a negative experience from it. Now I can very much appreciate your need to keep things separate and I do not fault you for that one bit. But I truly believe that for the most part an individual's efforts to get to know you are truly good and sincere. Call me an idealist but that's just the way I see it.

Rylan Carling said...

X - thank you for your comments, and a great insight from you as well. It's not so much that I have something to hide, because, in reality, I really don't have anything to hide. It's what I have to protect. I guess my point was that sharing RL stuff is not bad, in itself, but that you need to be "aware" of the fact that when you put anything out there, it could lead to someone finding out more. Recently I posted a pic of RL, that pic then led someone to a connection in my RL that I wasn't ready for. It was an innocent picture that I thought was of something mundane, but it was something that now has completely revealed my life to this said person. I trust the person with this information, but if it was someone else? if it was someone I wasn't completely sure of? what then?

Lizzie - I am like you to some extent that I believe those close to be are good and don't have any malicious ideas. At the same time, you just don't ever truly know and when you aren't ready to reveal some things and they are found out kind of throws you for a loop. Thank you for your comments as well!